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The logo is a white heart shape with the words “Our Health Matters” written in black, purple and yellow. The Queensland Council for LGBTI Health (QC) logo is included underneath in black, purple, and yellow. On the top lefthand side of the heart there are 5 light blue tabs and on the righthand side of the heart there are 5 light pink tabs.

Respectful Relationships

We all have different ways of communicating, but respectful relationships are the same for all people. For Trans, Gender Diverse and Non-Binary people, there often aren’t many positive representations of respectful relationships on film, TV, the news or popular culture. Without positive cultural role models or local community role models, it is harder to feel sure about what a respectful relationship looks like. All of what has been talked about in this resource so far are things that should go into a respectful relationship. A relationship can’t be respectful if partners can’t communicate their boundaries and needs clearly, or this communication isn’t heard, valued or encouraged. In a respectful relationship everyone should feel cared for, important and safe. Respectful relationships involve ideas like mutuality and equity, not people using power and control over others. Power and control are not part of a healthy relationship. In fact, they are more likely indicators of abuse. The wheel below (from Room To Be Safe, 2014) makes easy to understand and clear distinctions between respectful and non-respectful relationships.

Although it may be hard to talk about violence within our communities, it is important to recognise the difference between respectful relationships, and violence and abuse. Sadly healthy relationships can deteriorate into an abusive ones. Where abuses or coercion
happens in a relationship, it will often start or increase at points of significant change that might make an abusive person feel they are losing power and control. For Trans, Gender Diverse and Non-Binary folks these points of change might be starting to express new curiosity or exploration of gender, sharing or disclosing gender identity privately or publicly, taking steps to affirm gender identity and presentation either privately or publicly, starting to access gender affirming support, starting medication, or making legal changes and accessing surgery. Patterns of power and control that might start as little things can grow and lead to violence. Violence can affect anyone and there is help available

A circle broken up into 12 parts. Each part is a different colour and contains a concept related to equality in LGBT relationships. The colours and concepts are: Yellow with white writing “respecting physical space. Light purple with white writing “Non-Threatening behaviour” Light pink with white writing “Empowerment” Light blue with white writing “Responsible parenting” Brown with white writing “Economic Partnership” Black with white writing “Sexual consent and respect” Red with white writing “Negotiation & Shared Responsibility” Orange with white writing “Trust & Support” Yellow with white writing “Honest accountability & respect” Green with white writing “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual empowerment” Blue with white writing “Trans empowerment” Purple with white writing “Emotional support. “Equality in LGBT relationships” is written in a heart in the centre of the circle.

Research has highlighted that Trans, Gender Diverse and Non-Binary communities are as vulnerable to domestic violence as any other, and even more susceptible to family and sexual violence.

If you think you might be experiencing violence:

Picture of a phone with “Call 000” written in yellow and purple

Call 000 in an Emergency

2 speech bubbles, overlapping each other. One speech bubble is pink with no text. The other speech bubble has a black outline with blue and pink text that says “Talk to someone you can trust”

Talk to someone you trust

Outline of black and white clipboard with a blue shield with a protection plus on it in white. Text above the clipboard reads “Develop a safety plan”

Develop a safety plan to protect yourself

For more info go to qld.gov.au & search safety plan

Outline of a judges hammer in black, purple hearts near the hammer. Written underneath in Black and purple is “Apply for a protection order.”

Apply for a Protection Order

If you are unsure about this, please call PoliceLink 13 14 44

2 outlines of head and shoulders with overlapping speech bubbles. Underneath the head & shoulders, there is purple and yellow text that reads “Talk to a counsellor”

Talk to a Counsellor

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​Difference between respectful relationships & violence and abuse
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