Start Talking

One of the first steps to having safer and more enjoyable sex and intimacy is to talk about it. For many people it’s a good idea to start by thinking through your own ideas and needs about things like disclosure, consent, boundaries, dealing with dysphoria and rejection and what makes you feel strong, euphoric and affirmed so you can be at least a little ready to navigate those things with other people. All of these things can play a part in being intimate or sexual with someone, so it’s important to understand and have ways of talking about these things not just for yourself but also for your partner (or partners) too.

 

These might be things you’ve never talked about before. They might be subjects where it’s difficult to find the words to explain yourself and your needs in a situation with partners, and for them to do the same. Thinking and talking about these issues is an opportunity to address any worries or struggles you might have and figure out better ways to address them. Finding the right person to talk to can be hard - for some people it might be friends or family (whatever that means to you), it might be a journal to talk to yourself, or it might be a counsellor or psychologist. Remember that these topics can be hard for other people to be comfortable with too, so be respectful about what other people are able to listen to as well.